Struggling with your sense of self-worth sucks and is a frequently consequence of being childless not by choice. So it’s lovely to see all the #IAmMe photos that are popping up all over my Facebook news feed and on Twitter. It shows that some people are starting to reconnect with their self-worth.
Andrew and I have both created one which we have shared with pride.We both really struggled though with the words to write that express what it was we loved about ourselves. Not because we were struggling with a lack of self-worth, so we couldn’t think of any. No, we were having the opposite struggle: there were too many to choose from it was almost impossible to narrow it down to the key ones. When I realised this was I actually quite surprised and I realised this was very tangible evidence of how much I have changed over the last year and more specifically since Canbace.
You see, if I had heard about #IAmMe this time last year my reaction would have been ….
BUT I HATE BEING ME! That’s the whole point. My life is c***. I hate my life. I don’t want this life. I feel trapped. I feel isolated. I feel incomplete. I feel that I am making progress only to find its been built on quicksand. Being me is the last person I want to be!
Being involved so much behind the scenes in WCW last year helped to rebuild my self-confidence that had been in tatters for years. It reminded me that I had a huge range of skills that were lying dormant and could be put to good use. It gave me the confidence to step outside my comfort zone and finally fulfil the dream of a life time, with a little extra topping on the side. When I was six or seven I dreams of being a journalist not creating and running the world’s first magazine for such a huge and deserving community. Better make that a huge dollop of extra topping!
The magazine wasn’t the end though: the We Are Worthy Summit became a reality too. Yes, my life changed dramatically within six month and with it my sense of self-worth. Yet I still wouldn’t have been quite ready to embrace the idea of the #IAmMe campaign.
If I had heard about #IAmMe back in April or May of this year my reaction would have been a hopeful yet tentative ….
Mmmmmmm #IAmMe? I know that I am getting to the stage where I can say “I am me” and not burst into tears like I did last summer. However, I am not quite healed enough to really love my skin. Yet I KNOW that this will happen. I am not sure when that will be, and that’s OK. I’ve waited a long time to get to this far, so I can be patient. I have hope that I will get there in the end.
What’s changed in the last four months? I can sum it up in one word …
CANBACE
I realise that you would expect me to say that, after all I came up with the affirmation. So, I thought you might like to read what some other people have written about Canbace …
“I love the message of canbace and it has meant so much in my life. After floundering for years in my pain and grief, it has given me something to hold on to – something to strive towards!”
Jennifer Parrish
“Unlike CNBC, with CANBACE the choices are endless because we have the power to create. Plus, the focus is on the future-on our new, beautiful and courageous existence. Do you hear that?! Our existence. Not just a Plan B, but an entirely new way of being. With CANBACE, I am the artist of my life. How awesome is that?!”
Brandi Lytle
When I see comments like these it brings tears to my eyes as I know that #Canbace has the power to make a real changes to people’s lives. It leads me to believe that #IAmMe and #Canbace are very closely linked. If you are struggling with your self-wroth so much that you aren’t ready for #IAmMe then Canbace will help you get there. If you are already canbacing then #IAmMe is so much easier.
I leave you with this last thought ….
As a community we have embraced the idea of “we are worthy”. It’s been a WCW daily theme for two years running and I organised a complete week’s on-line summit reminding us that we are indeed worthy. It is that important. So, I began to wonder if “we are worthy” is important to other communities or is it unique to those whose sense of self-worth has been destroyed by infertility and childlessness. Here’s what I discovered:
Women’s Equality Day used the hashtag this year. Read more about the day (not the hashtag) here
American Badass Activists used the hashtag in August 2017. Read more about it here
Quirky Birds Words published an article about breaking the stigma of living with mental illness issues two years ago which used the hashtag too. Read more about it here
I don’t know whether to be relieved that it’s not only us and is another sign of the fact that we don’t “fit” into the rest of the world, or to be greatly sadden that lack of self-worth takes many guises.
To end on a more positive note …
I’m all about sharing proactive ideas on how to move forwards. So, for tomorrow’s blog I will be adding five more ideas for rebuilding your sense of self-worth. However, I don’t want to leave you struggling with your self-worth today with nothing tangible to help you. If you haven’t already visited the We Are Worthy Summit website please do. There is so much proactive healing content available which has been provided by some brilliant speakers and CNBC professionals around the world. In fact five of the speakers are World Childless Week champions. I hope their words inspire you and help you to heal.
Because WE ARE WORTHY
Be kind to yourself ….
In CANBACE friendship!
If anything I have written resonates I’d love to hear from you in the comments. I appreciate that this can be a difficult subject to speak openly about. If you don’t want me to publish your comment on the website please let me know. I will keep your words private.
Click the image below to ready Brandi Lytle’s blog “Childless and Worthy”
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