WhatNotToSay#5 looks at the “Why Don’t You JUST adopt?” question.
Within the Canbace/CNBC communities it is a question that is frequently heard. At best it shows a lack of knowledge about the arduous nature of the adoption process. It also shows a lack of understanding and empathy about the reality of our situations. After years, perhaps even decades, of not building the family that we dreamt of, we often don’t have the emotional resilience to withstand the process.
This is not selfishness on our part.
It is self-preservation.
If you don’t believe that, then consider the implications of pursuing adoption when you know it is going to have a serious effect on your health.
You somehow pass the approval process and are matched with a child. Your new life is started. As you settle into that life your body stops producing the adrenaline that has been keeping you going all these months. You relax. Then WHAM depression sets in or you suffer a nervous breakdown because your body has seen you through the hard times and can “stand down”.
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Be kind to yourself ….
In Canbace friendship
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